Note:
Enter BarbieWorld, where everything is materialistic and fake like mainstream
pop culture.
Barbie
and Ken Dall are the latest Hollywood “It” couple of the 21st
century! To what do we owe this honor, you say?
Well,
besides Barbie being a typical girly girl who has a mean tomboyish streak since
she grew up among boys being the only girl in the family, she knows how to pull
a prank or two on boys and has an undying love for sports. But she still loves
to dress up-she calls it ‘playing dress up,’ looking for hotties cause she
wanted to blend in with her gal pals in her hot pink convertible; the license
of her convertible has her name on it. She loves to think the best in people.
To
look the perfect size 0, she has gone on crash diets, which includes taking
diet pills. She has an eating disorder. She has gone from a size 4 to a size 0
but at what cost? All her life growing up, her family, friends, even her peers told her she needed plastic
surgery. She has had everything imaginable-you name it, she done it.
But
since marrying her lifelong boyfriend, Ken, six months ago, she has devoted all
her time to him and their 2.5 children (actually 2 children). I know this may
be a little old-fashioned, but she is a stay-at-home mom while Ken brings home
the bacon.
All of
a sudden, one day, while talking on the phone with her BFF, Stacy (short for
Anastacia) put the thought in her head that she should do something more with
her life like get a job or give back to the community.
Stacy
calls her everyday just to pester her, but today Barbie could really used the
pick-me-up since she’s been so depressed lately ever since she lost her
position as a teacher aide at her youngest’s preschool.
“Don’t
you feel claustrophobic sometimes?” asked Stacy who works as an accountant.
“Yes,
I do. But what can I do?”
“Why
don’t you go look for a job on Craigslist or something? Volunteer at Bunny’s
(the youngest) school. I don’t know.”
“Okay,
I will do just that!” exclaimed Barbie.
“Atta
girl!” Stacy praised. “Tell about it when you get back.”
Several
days later, Barbie got a job! But instead of using her first name on her
application, which she knows people won’t take seriously, she decides to use
her middle name, Candice. She decides not to use her last name either; she uses
her mother’s maiden name, which is Hart. In the professoional world, she is now
known as Candice Hart. Her husband, Ken, is displeased with this when he finds
out. When he finds out, there is hell to pay.
“Why
did you take your middle name and your mother’s maiden name?”
“I
thought it would be more professional that way,” Barbie said meekly.
“Are
you ashamed of me? Is that it?” yelled Ken.
“Don’t
be that way, Ken,” said Barbie soothingly, trying to placate him. “You know I
love you.”
“Well I don’t feel the love right now,” Ken said, keeping
his cool, taking his jacket out of the closet and walking out of the door.
What
have I done?
commiserated Barbie, twisting a ringlet of platinum blonde hair around her
finger. All my life I tried to be prefect, but where does that get me?
Nowhere! I guess beauty is only skin deep after all.
Barbie
decides to call her BFF, Stacy for advice. She calls up Stacy, who is with her
boyfriend Ranger, at the moment, in tears. They are sleeping together in their
penthouse after having full-on sex when she receives the call from Barbie.
“K-k-k-Ken-
he walked out on me,” gasped Barbie by this time in hysterics
“Slow
down, girl,” advised Stacy. “Do you want me to come over?”
“What’s
wrong now?” mumbled Ranger in his sleep.
They are both used to these calls by now. Barbie and Ken
aren’t all that cookie-cutter, picture-perfect as a couple. What lies beneath
all that perfect exterior is a lot of messed-up craziness in that marriage.
Only close friends and family know about the trials and tribulations they go
through. Although they’re famous (make that infamous), they have no qualms
about being on a reality show; only thing is they hate the media and how
they’ll be judged if they were to be on a reality show.
Stacy
comes over to Barbie’s Malibu condo she share with Ken but since Ken is
probably out busily getting drunk at some dive bar, she’s safe from his violent
temper. And you don’t want to be around when he comes home drunk.
Before
he fell into a deep depression over losing his job of 5 years, on his downtime,
he would go surfing. Tall, lean, muscular with a surfer’s body, he has
sun-bleached blond hair and a carefree attitude about life. Being born with
asilver spoon in his mouth, he worked very little until his parents cut him off
over his all-night partying, which consisted of all-night drink binges and
doing drugs. His parents gave him many warnings before-there was even an
intervention but to no avail. (like ‘if you don’t shape up, we’re gonna cut you
off)
After
he was cut off, he went into rehab and now he no longer takes drugs. But ever
since he was laid off from his job, she has been enabling him, feeding his
drinking and drug habit. She gets her money from her very rich parents, the
Cues, who has their very own real estate company for the stars. They often said
that they’re ‘the real estate agents to the stars,’ selling million, sometimes
billion homes a year.
Ever
since Ken lost his job at a private, local construction company for faulty
wiring nonetheless, he has been taking his anger out on Barbie. He also has
been frequenting all these dive bars; every time a different one. By the time
he leaves the bar, he is so unwelcome
to come back anymore because he is stinking drunk. But Barbie has been
tolerating him, listening to him freeload
about him losing his job and not being able to go to his parents for
money anymore. Now Barbie is at the end of her line.
It has
been several months since there has been income coming into the Dalls’ home, so
it is up to Barbie to get a job.
When
Stacy reaches the Dalls residence, she lets herself in. Barbie gives Stacy a
key since she helps her through thick and thin and feels she could be trusted.
“What
happened, sweetcakes?”
Her
maid has moved her from the living room floor to the loveseat, which she is now
curled up in a fetal position, crying her eyes out, her makeup streaking down
face and making a general mess of the upholstered loveseat.
“She’s
been cryin’ for the last half hour. Poor dear,” said her maid Doria. Her maid
used to be her nanny. “She’s afraid that loser Ken won’t come back but come
back he will. Probably to wreck havoc on this household.”
“Thanks
for watching her for me.”
“No
problem,” said Doria. “Your debt is mine. She could be my daughter,” leaving
the two friends alone.
“C’mon, let’s clean you up,” said Stacy,
pulling Barbie gently to her feet.
As
Stacy leads her slowly to the bathroom to wash, she put her arm around her
shoulders.
When
they return, Barbie is as clean as a whistle physically, but emotionally she is
in turmoil. Ken has never laid a hand on her even when he is drunk. He only
used horrible words against her, more like verbal abuse, if you want to get
technical. He has called her every derogatory name in the book that she lost
all of her self-confidence, her self-worth. Even her self-esteem is at an
all-time low. Poor thing.
“Why
were you crying? What happened?”
“I-I-I
g-g-got a job,” said Barbie, breaking down again.
“That’s
good news, isn’t it?”
“Y-y-yes,
but you haven’t heard the worst part: I changed my name. Used my middle name
and my mother’s maiden name instead of Barbie Dall.
“Oh, I
get it,” said Stacy, realization dawning in her eyes. “He found out about it
and storm off.”
“Why
don’t you come stay at my place for awhile till things cool down? Bring the
kids along. They love hanging out at my place.”
“They
do, don’t they? No way am I turning down that job! ”
“Who
says you have to turn down anything?” said Stacy gently. “All I’m saying is,
stay at my place for awhile till things cool down between you and Ken, then if
not we’ll see how it goes.”
“Are
you suggesting I dump him?”
“We’ll
see how it goes,” Stacy cajoled.
“All
right, but just for a few days.” Barbie finally relented. “I’ve got to go to
work Monday. C’mon, kids, let’s go!
Daddy will be mad when he gets home; we don’t want that, do we?,” rousing the
kids up
“Do we
have to?” said Darien. “I’m tired,” rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Is Daddy mad at
you?”
“No,
what makes you say that?”
“I
heard a lot of yelling.”
“No
we were just having a discussion,” Barbie said, packing some of the kids’
stuff.
“Are
we going somewhere?”
“We’ll
be staying with Stacy for a few days.”
“Why?”
“Because
I said so. Now get a move on while I pack Bunny’s stuff.”
“Okay,
we’ll go in my car,” said Stacy. She has a cobalt blue Corvette
“First
let me pack a few things before we go.”
“No
need, you can borrow some of my stuff.”
“Oh,
no, he’s back!” Barbie said worriedly.
“I
know, let’s go out that the back.”
“Okay,
hurry up.”
Ken is
turning the knob on the door when the girls ran out back hustling the kids
out..
One
thing for sure, Ken has never met any of Barbie’s friends and vice versa. So
it’s highly unlikely that Ken knows what Stacy’s car looks like.
“Hello,
Babs? Kids?” Ken called to the empty house (well, with the exception of Doria).
“I’m sorry I ran out on you like that. Let’s make up.”
After
calling Barbie’s name for awhile, Ken decides to talk to Doria to see if she
knows where his wife went.
“Don’t
ask me, all I do here is work here. I don’t get into anybody’s business and
nobody gets into mine” was the reply.
After
Ken turns away, Doria smiles secretly, thinking, Serves him right for
treating her this way.
With the kids away at sleep-away camp, Barbie & Stacy
have a mini-slumber party. Ranger is crashing at a buddy of his.
“I
haven’t had this much fun since before I met Ken!”
“Remember,
we’re not supposed to mention him tonight.”
“Yea,
out with old, in with the new!” Barbie called out. “Let’s go snag us some arm
candy tomorrow night.”
“But
you’re married and I’m with Ranger.”
“You’re
right, Ken is a loser.”
“Well
we can go clubbing, dance the night away-have a girls’ night out with the old
crowd! It doesn’t have to do with guys.”
“Okay,
okay, okay, enough wine. I think you’re crazy drunk.” Stacy said. ‘
As
soon as Stacy takes the bottle away, Barbie is zoned out on the sofa. Quietly,
she covers her with the shawl that is draped on the sofa, turning off the light
as she left the room.
On Monday
morning, she felt hungover still from Friday’s night little slumber party.
Sunday was a quiet day, acting like a third wheel on a date with Stacy and
Ranger. They’ve popcorn and sodas, no alcohol, not even spiked soda. Boring!
She
is prepared to work under her given name, Candice Hart. The first time she is
called Candice she didn’t acknowledge it until the person called her several
times, then she remembers, she is Candice Hart!
She doesn’t have a old cubicle like other employees; she
has her own office being the Executive Assistant to CEO of Mattel John Jonero.
She even have her own secretary. Cool, right? It gets better. She gets
all-access pass to the CEO’s limousine, his home, which is a mansion, of course
that’s cause she has to housesit from time to time. Whenever she housesits for
him, she gets to use the amenities, which include a library, a full-size
theatre with surround sound, an Olympic-sized pool that has a Jacuzzi and
sauna. Not only that, there is a stable of purebred (of course) horses and
ponies. There’s also a tennis court. There’s also a huge grand ballroom for
dances. In the grand entrance of the mansion is a statue of the mythological
Greek god Zeus, the mightiest of them all reeling a lightning bolt. The CEO
welcomes her to invite friends over to have parties and such; she wouldn’t need
to clean up after a party-he has servants to do it. Oh yea, BTW did I mention
the house has 7 rooms?! Lucky number 7!
Although CEO Jonero is unmarried, he is a
playboy. He is a fine foxy fella. He is tall dark and handsome (J/k) No,
really. He is muscular with a six-pack and is bronzed to nth degree. Not only
that, he is tall and has the most aristocratic nose ever with the bluest-almost
aqua-eyes ever.
The first time Barbie saw Jonero, she was
burning with lust, but she kept her emotions in check (though she flirted
innocently with him).
She started wearing makeup again. She
stopped ever since she gotten married to that loser Ken.
“You’ve nice blue eyes,” she purred
flirtatiously, lowering her long eyelashes.
“Actually they’re slate gray,” Jonero
said, looking her up and down. “Depending on the weather.”
“You can have any color you want them to
be,” Barbie purred, putting her hand on his arm.
“Girl, you’re way too young for
me!”
Love in grand scheme of things is a mish-mash
of trouble.
Barbie still stays at Stacy’s house. Though Ken knows
Stacy, he doesn’t know where she lives, which is a good thing because she
doesn’t want to be around his temper anymore; she wants Jonero now. There’s
always rain on Barbie’s parade-this time it’s Ken, who still has her cell phone
number, so what does he do? He keeps calling her and calling her ceaselessly,
so what does she do? She changes her cell phone carrier from AT&T to
Verizon. But before she does that, she texts Ken, “Im dvorcing u.” Then she
went to City Hall to file divorce papers, stating the reason as ‘irreconcilable
differences.’ Within days, she hears back from the courthouse. The divorce
papers went through-all it needs is a signature from Ken, her soon-to-be former
spouse.
When the mail delivery service delivers
the divorce papers, Ken apparently isn’t home at the moment. However, when he
gets home, he goes ballistic! I’m ain’t gonna sign this, Ken thought. I’ve
got to get a lawyer to see if this is legit. Gotta get me a pro-bono lawyer.”
So he goes to the courthouse to seek out
a pro-bono divorce lawyer. After his lawyer, R. Guttenberg, looks at the
divorce papers, he said, “I’m afraid these divorce papers are legit. Your wife
has served you with divorce papers. If you don’t want to go to divorce court,
just give her what she wants.”
“Never!” Ken shouted. “I still love her!
Listen, you get me to talk to her to see things my way.
“No can do,” Guttenberg denied the
request. “The divorce denies you contact with her.”
“That whore!” shouted Ken. “She probably
has a boyfriend on the side.”
“So what have you decided?” Guttenberg
asked.
“Go to divorce court!” yelled Ken. “Tell
her I’ll see her in court!”
Guttenberg told Barbie’s lawyer-the best,
most powerful lawyer in town-named Jane-Kate Jameson that they’re going to
divorce court. Since Barbie has one of Hollywood’s most powerful, top-notch
lawyers in all of Hollywood, Guttenberg and Ken didn’t have a chance of prayer!
Ken refuses to withdraw from going into
divorce court even after hearing that Barbie has a world-famous legal team
behind her, introduced to her by Jonero. This legal team has helped many
different kinds celebrities through civil and criminal cases.
On their first day of court, which is the
first time they’ve seen each other since Barbie moved out of their Malibu condo
and into Stacy’s place.
“I love ya, Babs,” Ken pleaded
desperately.
“Well, you’ve got a funny way of showing
it!” Barbie fumed angrily, turning away from him.
“Please don’t go through with this. I’ll
do anything.”
“Can you believe how pathetic he is?”
Barbie whispered to one of her lawyers.
“Can you at least let me see the kids?”
Ken continued as Barbie ignored him. “I’ll bet Darien and Bun-Bun miss me.”
At this, Barbie turned to Ken furiously,
“I wouldn’t let you see Darien and Bunny if you were their last living
relative. I’m suing you for sole custody of the kids. I refuse to be your
enabler, you got that?!”
“Well, we’ll just see about that, won’t
we?” Ken said cockily.
When Barbie heard from her lawyers that
they’ll have to dig up everything on Ken, she was all for it, saying, “Why not?
It’s not like there’s nothing I don’t have anything to lose.”
While Barbie’s lawyers were busily
working to find out about Ken’s past. To worry about her kids and the divorce,
Barbie herself continued her day job as Executive Assistant to the CEO of
Mattel but was unable to flirt.
Several months later, her lawyers find out everything in
Ken’s past that she needs to know. Oh yeah, all the sordid details. Every last
one. She finds all the ‘ladies,’ more like whores, he’s been with. The list was
longer than her arm!
“Are these the list of the girls who are friends with him
or were intimate with him?” Barbie asked.
“Don’t be so naïve, Barbie!” admonished Bailey, her private
investigator who did the background check on Ken. “These girls are his friends,
all right. More like friends with benefits.”
“Omigod!” exclaimed Barbie. “These girls aren’t
ladies-these girls are whores! So he’s been sleeping around with these whores?”
“It has been confirmed,” said Bailey, nodding his head
soberly.
“I’ll drag his name through the mud! I’ll slander him!”
“Okay, okay,” Bailey said, putting his hand on her arm in
order to appease Barbie. “Calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!” Barbie yelled, shaking his hand off
her arm. “I’ll ensure him that he’ll never ever see the kids again! Oh no! What
if-what if he gave me STIs? I gotta go get tested,” said Barbie frantically.
“But who’ll watch the kids? Stacy isn’t home yet.” She looked at Bailey
pleadingly.
“No, no way, I’m not watching your kids! I hate kids!”
Bailey said hurriedly, practically running out the door. “Besides, I gotta go
back to work!”
“Fine,” said Barbie. “I’ll just find someone else to look
after the kids.”
“Hey Stac,” called Barbie as soon as she got ahold of her
at her work, “I have to go out for a moment. Who would be a good sitter for the
kids?”
“Why do you have to go out?”
After Barbie explained the situation, Stacy though it over,
“There’s Old Ms Groheimer, 2 doors down from me who babysits her grandkids when
their parents are at work. Your kids can play with her grandkids.”
Stacy would love to badmouth Ken, but ever the levelheaded
young woman that she is, she remains firm, reasonable and sensible and a good
friend to Barbie in her time of need.
Barbie places the kids in the care of Old Ms Groheimer, who
turned out to be a trusty old woman with countless of grandkids because she has
countless of kids herself. She also has 2 dogs, a beautiful tabby kitten.
Barbie goes to the free clinic. Upon learning that all
tests and consultations are confidential and free, she was all for it. She did
an all-out STIs test, testing to see if you have every single STI known to
existence.
2 weeks later-
Barbie received a call from the free clinic to come down to
get the results. Upon arrival, she heard that she needed more testing. But this
time she needn’t wait 2 weeks for results.
“Do you have kids?” the clinician asked.
“Yes,” replied Barbie. “What of it?”
“Because you got gonorrhea,” the clinican replied. “But
it’s perfectly curable.” With that, the clinician turned away leaving Barbie
all alone.
By the time, she has picked up the kids from Old Ms
Groheimer and reached Stacy’s place, tears are brimming in her eyes.
“Why are you crying, mommy?” asked Bunny her youngest
“Leave mom alone,” Darien said. “She had a bad day.”
“Go play, you guys,” Barbie told them. “I’m gonna cook
dinner while I wait for Stacy to come home.”
When Stacy comes home, she listens like the good friend she
is.
“But who are you gonna have kids with if you’re divorcing
him?”
“I might eventually have more kids in the future.”
“You
know, you could sue that jerk for emotional distress,” suggested Stacy gently.
“No, I just want sole custody of the kids.
I don’t want to put the kids through that.”
“Quit thinking about others, but what
about you? What do you want?”
“I just want him out of my life, a nice
fresh start, to have the past wipe clean.”
“That’s easier said than done, girl,”
said Stacy sympathetically, touching Barbie’s arm gently with her hand.
The next day Barbie went to the
courthouse to get a restraining order against her ex-husband, Ken to stay away
from her and their kids, Bunny and Darien because she’s afraid she might harm
them although the only person he has harmed in the past was her. Ken has never
laid a single hand on the kids, not even to molest them. But Barbie is afraid
he might take out his anger on the kids and who knows what might happened then?
Since he had a pro-bono lawyer and she
had a full professional team of lawyers, there is no doubt to everyone closest
to them to who would win. Obviously, Barbie wins. But it isn’t enough. She
didn’t want revenge. She just wants sole custody of the kids. Because of the
wonderful legal team she has, she is granted immediate sole custody of the kids
without dragging it through the court. They settle it out of court.
Although Barbie is granted sole custody
of the kids, she wants to keep the restraining order intact against her ex-husband,
Ken. She is fearful that Ken might come after her and the kids, so she decides
to move without telling anyone. If she tells anyone, it’ll get back to Ken,
then he’ll come after them and possibly kill ‘em.
The only
person she told was Stacy whom she trusts with her life.
Ken hasn’t seen or heard from Barbie in
days and even weeks. Not unusual since there is a restraining order against him
to stay away from Barbie. And Ken knew Stacy knew where Barbie is. Stacy
wouldn’t say even though Ken cajoles her, acts aggressive towards her and
obnoxious towards her. For days, he would harass Stacy till there is no end.
At the end, he threatened, “I’m gonna
tear you from limb to limb if you don’t tell me where she is. I know you know
where she is.”
To Stacy, mum’s the word if she wants to
keep Barbie safe from the low-lifes of Ken Dall.
He left as quickly as he came. As soon as
he leaves, however, Stacy quickly calles Tulsa, where Barbie moved to. She
always wanted to live in the countryside.
Brring brring brring! The sound of the
phone is echo-y in the small ranch villa since Barbie was working online at
home while her kiddies are at school. Of course, they have to go the free local
public school.
“Babs’ Office & Retail,” answered
Barbie chirpily. Even though Ken called her Babs, the nickname didn’t invoked
any bad memories. As a child, her parents called her Babs and occasionally her
closest pals did too. Her platinum blonde locks changed back to its original
color: red. Yep, guys n’ dolls, Barbie was originally once a redhead.
“Hi baby,” whispered Stacy. “How are
doin’?”
“Why are we whispering?” Ba said softly.
“Because he’s outside, watching, waiting
for my next move. He’s stalking me. Why, oh, why did you leave me with him? He
knows I know where you are.”
“Just stand your ground,” said Barbie
quietly and thoughtfully. “Don’t let him push you around. Look, the kiddies are
back. I’ll talk to you later. ‘Bye”
Barbie is trying to remove everything
from her old life. Including her bestie, Stacy.
“Wanna go get some ice cream, kids?!”
“What are you up to, Mom?” asked Darien
suspiciously
“We’re going into town to change my phone
for a brand-new one. Will that be fun?!”
“But how’ll Stacy contact us in case of
an emergency?”
“Forget her, will you, kid?” said Barbie
in annoyance. “I just want you kids to have a whole brand-new life, is all.”
“Okay, I agreed, Mom,” Darien said. “We
should have new start cos we’re living in a new town, and we’re”-pulling his
sister closer-“makin’ new friends. I don’t see why you shouldn’t either.”
“Thanks for understanding, guys!” Barbie
said, hugging all of his eight-year-old self to her. “Maybe you should get a
phone also.”
After Barbie got a new phone with a
different phone number, she really did gave Darien, being the oldest and all, a
cell phone of his own.
~The End~
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